UNFORGETTABLE TEENAGES MISTAKE.
Teenager is a name used to describe a particular group between childhood and adulthood.
According to Merriam Webster dictionary; a teenager is someone whose age ranges from 13-19, it is a stage of decision making, otherwise called adolescence, it is the stage in one’s life that is mystifying to parents, it is a stage where sensible teenagers moves from dependent state to the state of a young independent adult.
There is always a rapid physical development between this age, it can be a joyous stage and as well a troubling stage of life. This age tells the capability of the young ones making decision on their own which determines how their future will look like and as well time for exploration, and also overwhelming. And as for our parents, look over the teenagers and handle them with care as there are developing vulnerable for there are the leaders of tomorrow.
Life as a teenager you have to lay your foundation very careful in the teenage stage, because things you do and kind of characters you exhibits matters a lot in order for you not to build your downfall by making unforgettable life time mistakes.
Most of the things you have to be careful of as a teenager are explained as follows;
LOW SELF ESTEEM: Self esteem basically talks about what we think about ourselves, if high, low or in-between and it has a huge effect in our life. Although it is normal to think low about some things at time but not always i.e. its effect becomes negatively high on teenagers when the low feeling is always there. Low self esteem becomes a teenager’s life time mistake, in the sense that it makes one feel inferior, less important, probably because of their facial look among friends, their level of intelligence.
Low self esteem is in most cases leads to inferiority complex, which is referred to as a psychological disease that makes teenagers afraid of practicing new thing or making them see new facts as impossible facts. Life as a teenager sees inferiority complex as a huge unforgettable mistake whenever it overwhelm the teenager and when these happens it utters the real self of a teenager.
NOTE: Teenagers who allows Low self esteem overwhelm their life style cannot stand for their right; they can’t express themselves in public or in the presence of their peers. Also Low self esteem kills the potential in teenagers and destroys their talent. It weakens our effort in terms of interacting with others and these makes it difficult for us to engage into relationship or maintain the one we are already on.
In most cases low self esteem is cause by the way teenagers are being treated by our parents (making us look less important/not feel loved).
And above all never forget that our mood (sad, ashamed, anxious or angry) contributes a lot to Teens Low self esteem life style of a thing because it makes teens to find it difficulty in putting much effort in doing something new. Teens with low self esteem finds it difficult to get motivated because of the act of being ashamed to try sense we will already conclude that we can do it.
SEEKING OF UNNECESSARY INDEPENDENCE: Most times we think that adolescent stage is the right stage for us to start seeking for our freedom from our parents, although it is a stage where we start making decision of our own, but it all went wrong when the thought “mummy give me space, I want to be on my own, am old enough to take care of myself” comes in, because we kills ourselves slowly without knowing the final outcome which lead us to some certain unforgettable mistakes.
Normally teens always wants to feel belong, wants to shake/move the world, wants to be the boss of our own, which at last leads to the seeking of unnecessary independence.
But if we should draw back a bit do you think is right for a child of 15 seeking independence from parents? If yes, how do you think he can manage his/herself if giving the freedom to be alone?
Teenage age is the stage of life that we have to shape our life, because it determines how our future will look like, so teens need someone to guild them on the dos and don’ts of life as a teenager, you don’t need to isolate yourself from the elderly ones around, all because you feel it’s right for you to live freely, but remember that there more days ahead of you, which your teenage age determines what happens in those days ahead, if it will be better days ahead or worst days ahead. So, build your personal life right now.
The end of unnecessary independence is normally doom for teens, in the sense that it brings about unwanted pregnancy among teenage girls, exposes teens to immoral life that adds to value to their life, leads to drug addiction, makes teens to live a goalless/vision-less life which ruins their life and future.
PEER PRESSURE: Some says “Show me you friend and I will tell you who you are”, others says “show me you friend and I will tell you who he is”, but for me “show me your friend and I will tell you what your future will look like”.
Peer pressure contributes to teenager’s life both positively and negatively. Negatively peer pressure leads teens into drug addict, smoking, drinking, stealing, etc. due to when teens keeps bad friends there always try to feel belong especially if they are new or less experience than those around them, feel accepted, feel important among friends and starts to spend much time with their peers than families, but the truth is that our life as teenagers in mostly influence by our friends. “Be careful the kind of friend you move with”.
Speaking from experience now, a friend of mine once told me,
“Joyce, the first day, I tasted alcohol was when I was hanging out with friends. They pressured me into tasting it, at first I resist but the second time I no longer resist and now is difficult for me to stop the intake of alcohol and that’s the effect of bad friends”.
Peer pressure brings about teens downfall because they tends to behave like their friends, making their type of hair style, dress like them, speak like them and if it happens that those friends of yours are drug addicts, of lazy kinds, bullies, with time you perfect those acts of theirs even more than them, because you don’t want to be left out. Don’t allow you friends to decide the kind of life you live, nobody has the right to determine your life style for you, you determine for yourself, and the choice is yours.
SOCIAL MEDIA: teens are masters at keeping themselves busy/occupied in the hours after school until hours past bed time with Social Medias (Facebook, Whatsapp, Wechat, 2go, etc.) chatting, sharing, scrolling, you can name it much better than I do, even when doing assignments. Truly we are on computer/technology age but this age has taken over our way of life as teenagers. Social media becomes the talk of town among teens.
According to research carried out by a clinical psychologist (Dr. Catterone Steiner-Adair), brings it to our understanding that 75% of American teenagers currently have a profile in social networking site of which 65% uses Facebook as their main networking tool.
Most of Social media of teens are; it affects their thinking capacity, it affects their health in the sense that most teens deprives themselves hours of sleep all in the name of chatting, it expose the teens to world at large it the aspect of it being another world of its own, and in that world you don’t have a counselor, a mentor, you don’t have restriction, you opens whatever you want to.
Due to that social media is encaged under the World Wide Web (WWW), it exposes teens to other branches of WWW like exotic sites, pornographic sites/movies/pictures/online magazines. All these generally destroy the future of a teenager because daily exposure to social media risks one’s life in the sense that what you see, hear and say shows the real person in you.
But am not saying that using social media is bad, speaking of it, it still have positive purposes like easy connection to family and friend, for research, project work, etc. use it right for the right purpose of it, has a limitation to its uses, “too much of anything is bad”. And don’t serve social media let it serve you.
EMOTIONAL LIFE/DATING: The biggest threat about teenage dating is their inability to maintain a healthy one. Teens mostly don’t know the necessity of maintaining healthy relationship over period of time. Therefore, frequent heartbreaks, fighting may lead to suicidal plans, teenage pregnancy or mental instability. In some cases, this happens due to lack of understanding of what relationship is all about.
Teens lack proper understanding of balancing friendship and relationship as a teenager. Some negative impact on teenage dating is low school grade; teens lose interest in studies and this is emblematic of their shifting priorities in life. Survey found out that the strain of relationship can have a damaging effects like premarital sex, unwanted pregnancy, emotional instability, unsafe sex and use of alcohol because they are curious, want to know how it feels and tastes.
Meanwhile dating is not bad, but get the right knowledge about it before stepping into it, at the right time and you will have nothing to regret about it, but as for a teens who has no much knowledge about dating, all you need is friendship and not dating. Love all your friends put them all in the “friend-zone”.
At times parents can contribute to the mistakes of their wards (teens). Some parents don’t have time for their children, some parents/guardians exhibit some characters that will be listed below and these characters affect their wards (teens). It tends to bring downfall.
Most of such characters are as follows;
OVER-CRITICISM: Excessive criticizing should not be found among parents especially the mothers. Teens tend to believe what they heard especially from their loved ones, you don’t criticize rather you encourage them. It both boosts their morale, when you criticize your child, they tend to feel inferior. They will always believe they can’t make it. It kills the giant in them, kills their potential and destroys their zeal/talent because that is how you make them feel.
GRILLING THEM WITH QUESTIONS: Where are you? What are you doing? Who are you with? What is the person’s name? What? What? What? You have to give them some breathing space some times. It isn’t as though you shouldn’t know all these but take it easy on them.
EMBARRASSING YOUR WARDS (TEENS) IN PUBLIC: The worst thing a parent can do is embarrassing their wards (teens) in public, all in the name of correcting them. You don’t do that! Correct them with respect or they flare up.
LACK OF PARENTAL CARE: This destroys a teenager more than the way/level we think. When you don’t have time for your wards(teens), they feel neglected, low self-esteem comes in and when they are with their friends, where they feel belonged and loved, they tend to do what they are asked to do. Parents, love your ward (teens), chat and play with them no matter how tight your schedule is, show them that you care, tell them you love them and show it, chat with them as though they are your best friends, it makes them feel at home, it makes them open up. Get to know their friends, celebrate them even when they are getting it wrong and motivate/encourage them. It brings a bright future.
As a parent, when you don’t give your wards (teens) listening ear, they tend to become violent. Hear them out; at least you will be able to correct some bad impression with that.
Meanwhile teens, nobody has the right to force you into doing what you don’t want to, except you give them the right to, choose your friends wisely. Do everything in a mature way and the end result will be splendid.
“You can do it”, “You are the best of your kind”, “There is no second you in this world”, “You are born for purpose”, “There is a potential deposited in you”, “Wake the lion in you”.
Celebrating the little victories is a great and legitimate way of feeling better about yourself, remove every negative thought, “think right, think big and aim high in order to be the best you are made to be”. See you at the top.
The downfall of a man is not the end of his world so, GET YOUR ASS UP AND MAKE IT RIGHT!
Is not too late.
Written by Mhiz Joyce Uchechi
Edited and published by Oc’Bright